So I am sitting in my room wondering why it’s so damn hard to land a date. Now, I am not a grotesque, overweight, acne-ridden, fashionably-challenged kind of girl. Don’t get me wrong, I’m easy on the eyes. I like to believe I have a great personality. You know, funny, easy-going, smart, witty all that other crap guys don’t give a damn about. So I flip open on my laptop, and actually Google: “Why don’t I get asked out?” Have I hit rock bottom? Did I just Google that? Yup. Yes I did. Does that make a loser who sits in her room Googling why she doesn’t asked out? And so what if it does. I know there are about a million other girls who are thinking it, I just had the balls to Google it. Maybe they’ll erect statues in my likeness for my bravery. Okay, maybe they won’t go THAT far, but still.
Now, some of you might be thinking…”why don’t you just go out, loser?” First, I don’t appreciate the name calling. Second, I do go out. I go out quite often. I go to bars, not clubs (yuck). I go to upscale bars where professional men go to. You know the type, the kind of guys who have JOBS (401k, and health insurance–a girl can dream). I don’t know if I suddenly become invisible when I walk into a bar, but not one guy looks my way. Again, I will state for the record, I am not ugly. I think I actually caught one guy avoiding my gaze. I don’t know what else I have to do short of taking off all my clothes and yelling, “Come and get it boys!!” What does a girl have to do to land a date?
I am only 23 so it wouldn’t look right if I joined one of those online dating sites (oh how I envy older women right now). It would make it so much easier to just plug in my personality traits, and wait for the magic coupling site to match me up with my potential soul mate. Talk about the Staple’s Easy Button (That was easy!)
So I’ve got to do it the only fashioned way (err!) I have gone out and taken the proverbial bull by the horns. I’ve walked up to guys, much to the delight of my doting sisters, and made the initiative. I’ve talked to guys who would never have had the balls to talk to me. I’ve literally handed out my number even when their punk ass wouldn’t ask for it. Of course, they wouldn’t call, and the ones that do only want one thing. (In hindsight, maybe giving out my number so freely wasn’t the best route. Whatever, you live and you learn).
I am 23, and literally on the verge of giving up on men. I have been single for some time now, and there are so few men (who are worth the time of day for any woman) out there who would actually muster up the courage to walk up to a girl and say, “Hi, My name is _______, and I was wondering if I could buy you a drink?”
Are those men gone? Have we lost them to online vortex of internet dating which has made it wayyyy too easy to land a girl? Will the dating scene ever be the same? Or will single life as we know it consist of women who search for men who are simultaneously checking their online profile matches “for free” while ordering their third Stella?
May God help us all.