, , , ,

Assuming I am speaking to all those women who have reeled from a broken heart.  A woman who has been cheated on, had her heart stepped on, and wrenched from her chest and torn into a million tiny pieces. Is it really so shocking when woman turns around and takes love into her own hands, holds her heart tight in her fist–never letting it get too far–so no man (no matter how hot) can ever hurt her again.  She is labeled “The Bitch”, “The Man-Eater”, and “Stone Cold”.  Although, some of these names are a compliment to some women, they originated from a dark, painful place deep down inside her.

So when a woman starts to drop old conventions of dating, and stops being the old damsel in distress (please, girlfriend, we know you can help yourself) she does the impossible–she starts thinking like a man. She flips the script on guys, and she becomes one.  She walks around with an air that says, “There is no way your screwed up high school games are ever going to work on me again, because I am two steps ahead of you!” So why is it that when men start to fall for the same lame ass games they use on us, our friends tell us that we’re being too harsh, and to “be nice”.  What the hell?! Can anyone say double standard??

So we protect our feelings from getting hurt. That’s all we’re doing. To an unsuspecting guy, he might see it as a woman being mysterious, coquetishly unavaible, and evasive. But little does he know, we are taking a page from their handbook. And play by play, we are making them fall in love with us, just as they would us.  They become babling idiots, who call five times in row, leave 3 voicemails, and text us, “Heyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! Watchya doin???” All the while, we are rolling our eyes thinking, “Jeez! Get a grip boyfriend!!”

We’ve been hurt before, had a traumatic experience with a nutty, over protective, jealous, over bearing, not-so-great-in-the-sac ex boyfriend (I mean really, I’m willing to over look all the bad stuff, just learn to lay it down honey!)  So, is it really so wrong for us to have a little fun–at the guy’s expense yes, but it’s not like they haven’t done it either at a woman’s expense. What’s fair is fair.

So when this guy gets attached, then hurt, then becomes a moping idiot, we are to blame! This is precisely how thinking like a guy can get us sweet, innocent women in trouble! (The nerve…)  Boys are stupid. BIG news!!! Call the papers!! These poor guys fall in love with us, and the relationship doesn’t have a sliver of hope.  But being a woman we are genetically programmed to care (maybe in 50 years they will figure out a way to fix this) so it’s harder for us to just walk away and leave the poor guy high and dry.

This just goes to show you that no matter how you put it, men will always find a way to screw us (even if they don’t know how 😉 ).

Be that as it may. Call us “The Bitch”, “Man-Eater” and “Stone Cold”.  We are proud of these monikers, and will try our best to live up to them 🙂 .  Just as long as these stupid boys stay away from our hearts! Women are smart, and we will open up to a man who is WORTH it.  But for now, grab your coats boys!! It’s going to get chilly out there!   (Does an EVIL LAUGH!)