My love affair with Mr. Black reached a screeching halt not 4 weeks ago.

We made plans to meet up on a Thursday.  I bought tickets to bar that showed movies while sipping your favorite cocktail.  I couldn’t picture him in a regular movie theatre, this seemed much more fitting. When I let him know I bought the tickets, he let me know that he completely forgot about a fundraiser he was supposed to attend that night. You know, sometimes I really can’t stand rich people and all their rich people obligations. It really gets in the way. He said he would only stay for an hour or so, and then head over to my house to pick me up so we can see each other for a bit. That seemed to ease the blow. So I waited, and waited….and waited.

I was fuming by 10 o’clock. I told him that it was getting late (hello?! 10 o’clock??) and we should just reschedule. He seemed to understand and was really truly apologetic. But what I couldn’t understand was why he didn’t call to say he was staying longer than expected? It’s called common courtesy!! Whatever. I don’t like to over-analyze things, so we’ll let that slide. He said he would make it up to me, and I said, “We’ll see about that.” I was clearly upset.  After that came what I didn’t see coming. Silence. Total and utter silence. I didn’t from him for the past 4 weeks, and I thought wow…I must have really hurt this poor guy’s sensitive ego, because he can’t even find his own balls to call me and ‘make it up to me’ as he said he was determined to do. Just as our love affair started with a whirlwind of fantastical dates, make-out sessions, and laugher, it was over just like that. Just as easily as he walked into my life, he walked out with just as much ease.

Last night I’m lounging around the house, catching up on some bad TV with my sister, when I pull my phone out my purse. I’ve learned over the past few weeks to keep it out of my sight lest I become a over-obsessed loser who keeps checking her phone every 3 minutes. I was texting a good friend of mine earlier, and was checking to see if she responded back to my message. I looked at my phone, and my jaw dropped.

“Oh. My. God! That fucking asshole…” I gasped. The undertone of my voice revealed nothing but utter disgust.

“It’s him, isn’t it” said my sister.  She knows all too well the perils of my love life.

“Ugh!!!! I can’t believe him! The nerve of this fucking guy! First, he doesn’t call for 4 weeks and then he TEXTS me?!!! Oh MY GAWDDD!” I screech.

The now infamous text read:

Did you forget about me??? I would be really upset if you did.

“You should say, “Remind me again who you are…” “, my sister suggests.


“Okay, then say…look who it is…how are you?”


I didn’t want to think at that moment, so having my sister there to do it for me was a relief. The whole conversation was something I was not expecting. The whole time he thought I was the one ignoring HIM. He was actually waiting for MY call. I will never understand men… God, please don’t let me have a daughter. I have no wisdom about the opposite sex to bestow upon her.

“I thought you lost interest.” Seriously? You’re everything I want in a man and I’m gonna lose interest? This guy may have some self-esteem issues, but at least he’s not a cocky bastard who thinks he can have any girl in the world.

So I told him I’m an old-fashioned gal who believes that the guy should call first. I really hope he got the message.

I am still in awe that this whole time, he was waiting on me. I could have ended this stale mate by just calling him. It was that simple.

Anyway…we shall see where this goes.



Shoes Over Booze