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The person who coined the term, “History repeats itself” must have been a single woman who dated guys that all seemed to fall into the same black hole and disappear.  Nothing is worse than a potential suitor going MIA after you start making plans in your head for the holidays, weekend get-aways, and Christmas gifts. The relationship is following the normal pattern of an evolving connection, and then POOF! they get sucked into the abyss, never to be heard from, or seen again. This seems to happen to me a lot.  I knew that I needed to do something different this time lest the Sexy Latino falls into the all too familiar black hole. So I changed my usual “I’ll just wait till I hear from him” routine and I reached out to him first.  I got a positive response. In fact, he actually said he missed me…. That was last Tuesday.

I get that it’s 2012 and the dynamic between men and women have shifted a lot since the time when men actually had to put in work to woo women, but I can’t keep reaching out to someone who won’t return the favor once in a while. I’m starting to feel like a needy chic, and I don’t wear the needy chic hat so well.  So I backed off, and I haven’t spoken to him since last Tuesday. I was beginning to think that I would be single forever, especially since I just saw a photo of my ex and his new (not as hot as me) girlfriend.  I didn’t exactly feel the ping of jealousy, but I felt like I wanted it to be my time already. Would I be dating nomads who came and went with the wind forever?

The interesting thing was that I couldn’t envision myself being in an actual relationship again. I’ve grown so accustom to casual dating and the single life, that I couldn’t remember what it was like to be in the thick of a relationship anymore. Arguing, making up, laying on the couch watching TV, realizing that thing you thought was so cute when you were dating is the most irritating thing in the world. Actually, being in a relationship for a while, kinda scares me now. Even though I am sick of being single, I don’t want to deal with having a boyfriend. That’s right, I want my cake, and I want to eat it, too.

Just when I thought I would spend another weekend home, trying to find something worthwhile to watch on TV, he text messages me.  No, not the Sexy Latino, but an old acquaintance I’ve always stayed in contact with.  We’ve always had an attraction toward each other, but the timing was never right. Either I had a boyfriend or he had a girlfriend. But one thing we always shared was great conversation. I’ve always felt like myself around him, and more than that, I felt like we were on the same page. I got him, and he got me. One thing I’ll give him, he does not give up.  He’s always checked in since I was 19 to see whether I was single or not.  After a string of failed relationships, I am finally single, and so is he :).

I had just stepped out of the shower, and had my whole night planned. I planned on eating junk food till my stomach hurt, and lay in bed watching TV until I fell asleep. My life is really too exciting to put into words sometimes. For all intents and purposes we shall call him ‘Mike’.  Mike text messages me that he wanted to see the new James Bond flick. I tell him that it sounds like a great movie. “Wanna go see it?” he replies. Hmm…what to do in this situation? I’m supposed to be dating His Sexiness, but I haven’t seen him for 3 weeks, plus haven’t heard from him in a few days. Oh, what the hell…”Sure”. I can’t be blamed for dating other guys when one goes MIA. He has tried to hang out with me in the past, but I respectfully declined because I was dating the Hot Latino. We still remained in each others’ good graces, exchanging witty and funny text messages here and there. My conversations with Mike are always enticing, and funny and he keeps me on my toes. I didn’t expect tonight to surpass any of my expectations. I figured going to the movies with him was better than sitting at home for a record 3 weekends in a row.
Mike picked me up, and I made a joke that it was so chivalrous of him to spend his gas on little ol’ me in the midst of a petroleum crisis. He laughed hard, and whatever nerves or reservations I had about this date immediately dissipated, and I eased into his heated leather seats, and enjoyed the ride to the movies. We talked and laughed the whole ride there, and during the movie (yes we were THOSE people). I got comfortable in my seat to watch James Bond do his thing on screen. I hadn’t felt this relaxed on a date since….ever. It was nice to just enjoy someone’s company without feeling nervous about what they were thinking, if you were saying or doing the right things.

After the movie we walked to his car, and talked while we waited for it to warm up. We ended up staying in that parking lot talking and sharing stories, photos, and laughing until they shut the lights off in the lot. I looked around and realized that we were the only car sitting in that lot. Truthfully, if they hadn’t shut the lights off we might still be there! I can honestly say that I have never talked to a guy who I had an attraction to this easily. We talked about everything! Love, family, movies, books, politics. It was just great conversation with real substance. Finding great conversation in another is a rarity. So when you finally find it, you hold onto it!

I wasn’t expecting to have the kind of date I did. I was expecting an awkward exchange of pleasantries to help pass the time. That’s the great thing about low expectations, sometimes your pleasantly surprised. I am looking forward to date #2 with Mr. Persistent, and as for His Sexiness, I’ll keep you posted although I don’t think I’ll have anything new to post. Womp womp.

Shoes Over Booze