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The Cheese Stands Alone

Since we last left off, the guy I was sort of head over heels for, guy #2, had completely fell of the face of the earth. Guy #1 however, dug his heels in and wouldn’t go away. After feeling the chemistry I had felt with guy #2, I knew what I was missing with guy #1, and I knew I had to break it off because it was never going to be what I wanted it to be.

So I tried to break it off with him twice, and both times it didn’t take. I finally had to resort to my emergency break-up method. You know what kind of method I’m talking about. It’s the kind that you keep hidden behind glass that says ‘Break in Case of Emergency’, and it comes with a cute little hammer to break it with. I had to cold turkey his ass. For those of you who don’t know what cold turkey-ing is, it is the lowest form of a break up in the ecology of the break up world. It sends the other person whirling. They are blind sighted by the cold sting of the turkey. They are left with a million questions, and stay up many a night over analyzing what they did wrong, or was it something they said, perhaps? They will never know, because all communication is cut off with the cold turkey.

I really didn’t want to do this to him, but he wasn’t getting it.  I wanted to break up with him TWICE!!! Get a clue, man. I don’t want to date you anymore. Period. Now, please, go away.

He’s a really nice guy, but I couldn’t understand why he stuck around. He claimed he had an awesome time with me every time we went out. Well, of course he did, I would have an awesome time with me too! But I didn’t feel any awesomeness coming from him. Our dates were lack-luster at best, and dry in my opinion. He would NEVER make a move on me, show ANY affection. I’m not talking PDA, I’m saying put your friggin’ arm around me once in a while. Body contact, helloo?! The sad part is we’ve been dating since August and we’ve only been intimate twice. Please, I got more action from my booty call. (Oh yea, I kept him around).

And so I smacked him with the coldest turkey I could find in my arsenal. He called, and text me for three days with no response from my end. His last text to me was “FYI I’m upset with you”. No shit, dumbass. He also said he wouldn’t try to make any plans with me either. I thought, ‘Finally, I’m making some headway with this guy!’

Alas, my rendezvous with guy #1 has finally met its end. Guy #2 disappeared into the night, and here I am, back to square one.

And so, the cheese stands alone.

Where I had two, now I have none. I kinda like being alone again, though. Juggling two guys was fun while it lasted, but I wouldn’t do it again. I’d rather be with one guy I get along with great and want to be around him all the time instead of trying to the fill the voids with other guys. It gets messy.

I’m just gonna sit back and worry about my damn self, and not pay any mind to these boys. They only get you into trouble.

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