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Saturday night, I dragged two of my sisters to see ‘Life of Pi’.  I had just finished the book, and was itching to see it. Amazing book, and the movie was even more amazing. We caught the 10 pm showing and decided to head to a bar afterwards.

We ordered 3 sangrias  and chilled out. We didn’t go there to meet guys or anything, we genuinely just wanted to have a drink with each other (I know, we’re the cutest sisters ever, lol) We were just minding our own business when a VERY tall, lanky bouncer(we would later learn he was 6’8″) walked up to us and told us he was thankful we walked in. He told us he usually spends his night watching these “knuckle-heads”–as he liked to call them–and we were a refreshing distraction from the normal crowd. This was one of the dive bars near our house, so you can’t really expect too much talent in a place like this, hence the reason why my sisters and I were NOT looking.

This extremely large man, as it turns out, was very perceptive. He claimed he could analyze each of our personalities just by looking at us. Okay, the Green Giant had my attention.

First was my eldest sister: “You love everyone, but you’ve also been very hurt in life.” Hmmm… my sister is a bit on the eccentric, out there, but definitely the lovable type.  Okay, not bad. Then came my other older sister: “You like to put people together, and just sit back and watch.” OMG! We were just talking about how she pushes me to meet guys and literally walks away, while I am awkwardly standing there with this guy I’ve never met before. Alright, he got lucky on that one.

comic_scared_woman-251x300

Now it was my turn. I looked at him cynically, with one eyebrow raised. He looked at me, rubbing his chin, and said, “You…you scare me.”

My sisters burst out laughing. I was just standing there, befuddled.

“What?! How do I scare you?”

“You gotta be scared of the quiet ones.”

My sister interjected in my defense, “Well, when she’s drunk she’s really loud, and she’s a great time.”

Thanks, sis.

I couldn’t believe it. Well, a part of me could, but mainly I didn’t want to believe it. He said that I look at men in particular through a cynical lens. Yeah, so? All these guys do is lie, I suppose being a sap, and sucker will get me further with them? No, thank you.

What it really meant to me was he summed up everything I had been fearing, and unceremoniously threw it in my face. I knew that I might not be the most approachable girl in the bar, but that’s only because if I was I’d have every idiot in the bar trying to spit their game. I gotta have my walls up.

If some guy I just met could see how guarded I was, then imagine how regular guys must perceive me.

My two year single-life stretch is starting to make a lot of sense right now. If guys are scared of me, then OF COURSE they wouldn’t want to talk to me. For all they know, I breathe fire.

Saturday night was a revelation. Something’s gotta give. It’s been two years, you’d think I would get the hang of this single thing by now. Looks like I need more practice.

 

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