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beautiful, exercise, fat, fat ass, health, healthy, healthy-living, skinny, weight diets, weight issues, wieght, working out
I have never been one to concern myself with my weight, diets, eating healthy or exercising. I have always maintained the same weight since I hit puberty back in middle school, albeit without really doing anything. So you can imagine my horror when I gained 15 pounds —IN ONE YEAR!
I wasn’t in denial or anything, but I knew my body (or I thought I did, at least). My weight doesn’t ever spike up and down, and if it does its 2 or 3 pounds, give or take. I can’t remember when, but I remember why I decided to weigh myself after a long time. It all started when one pair of my pants were cutting the circulation off to my legs. I thought, “That’s weird, I must have shrunk these in the dryer.” Then it was another pair of pants. Then another. Then another. Then I decided, “There’s no way all of my pants have suddenly shrunk.” It was time. I put it off long enough. I mustered up the courage to step on the scale.
I lifted one foot, placed it on the cold scale, then lifted my other foot. I stood there waiting for the numbers to appear.
…
The numbers flashed bright and proud.
138.
WHAT.
THE.
FUCKING.
FUCK.
I was furious! 138?!
“Stupid fucking scale. Stupid broken fucking scale. My fucking sisters break everything in this house. We can’t have anything in this god damn house. Stupid fucking scale.” As went my mutterings when I saw the number that would haunt me over the next year.
I felt at my core that that scale was broken. There was no way I was 138 pounds. I felt unhealthy, but I didn’t think I looked fat. Yes, my pants were a little tighter, and my stomach stuck out more than usual, but I didn’t look fat. Trust me on this one.
I didn’t believe it until I was weighed at the doctor’s office. Surely they had a scale that was in good working order.
138.
STUPID FUCKING SCALE. Fuck this scale. This one’s broken, too!
Living in denial is funny thing. You refuse to believe it could be you. It couldn’t be something you’re doing to perpetuate it. It’s everyone else’s fault until the evidence is stacked against you. Then you open your eyes, and see something you really don’t want to see.
Acceptance.
I was gaining weight at an alarming rate. 15 pounds in one year? That’s never happened, and it was a huge jump from where I usually was.
I had to accept that I wasn’t 21 anymore. I couldn’t scarf down a tub of ice cream, then lay on the couch all day. I had to curb this monstrous appetite, and get moving.
I joined a gym. I was going 2 or 3 times a week for months. Then I quit my job. You have to pay for these gyms turns out. So that was the end of that. Yes I’m working now, but in the city and my gym is in Brooklyn. Really inconvenient. After work, I just want to go home. I could make the trip, but I don’t. I am being lazy.
I started working out at home. That was easier, and I was able to push myself to do it every day. There was no excuse not to this time.
I dieted, and worked out for a year. Lost three pounds.
Fuck this.
I threw my hands up. I didn’t know what else to do.
I used to think I was fat. I used to think I wanted to be as thin as a board, but I’m middle eastern and we are NOT thin. We have hips, and booties, and we know how to use them. 😉
I am now starting to accept that I may never be where I was when I was 21, but I don’t think I want to be. I like my booty, my full chest and hips. I like my shape. I loveeee looking voluptuous and scrumptious in my tight jeans and dresses.
This is what a real woman looks like.
Marilyn would be a size 6 or 8 by today’s standards.
I’ve decided to run. To stay healthy. Not to lose weight, but to maintain it. I am getting older. I will soon have to check off that box that says 25-30. I am joining a distinguished league of amazing women who have been through the ringer, and show off their battle scars with pride. I am proud to be able to check off that little box soon.
These women love their bodies, and don’t give a damn what anyone else thinks.
I love my body. Every stretch mark. Every dimple. Every inch of cellulite. I love it all.
It makes me me.
If you don’t like me, then piss off!
I am not fat.
I am beautiful.
I am woman.
I think I actually read somewhere Marilyn was a size 12…which was considered perfect at the time. Times have changed indeed but to have your own self awareness & confidence) amidst it all ..is half the battle. Nice post!
I absolutely agree. I think feeling good about yourself at any size is the key. Confidence is way sexier than physical appearance. Thanks for reading! 🙂
Great attitude. Just be healthy and happy with yourself. The world is judgmental. I am proud to be 138! I got up to 200……
Exactly, I don’t feel over weight or unhealthy anymore. I work out and eat healthy and take care of my body. If the scale says 138 or 183, as long as I feel good I don’t care either way. And good for you! I know how hard it is to lose weight, that’s a huge accomplishment! (BTW I just learned that muscle weighs more than fat, so take that stupid friggin’ scale).
Muscle does weigh more than fat and also helps you burn fat. Lift weights, you’ll look hot and toned. Fuck the scale.
I like the idea to be happy with one’s own size 🙂 Let’s not be influenced by the mass media and let them tell us what is beautiful!
P.s: I am holding a giveaway which you might be keen in. do come around and take part if you’d like! 🙂
Jenn
Yes, as long as we FEEL beautiful then we are.
And I will come around to check it out, I love free stuff!
Good to read this post, the attitude is good and sets the tone. Staying happy and feeling good is part of a diet and best thing is – it don’t cost you ought.
I think if you’re happy with the way you look that’s what really matters in the end, no matter what your size is. You’re right, being happy is free 🙂
iv been through this 🙂 so i can relate now im trying to loose 5 kilos im middle eastern too and i love my body we are curvy by nature what i did is i started tracking my food i think my body restores water from tomato paste and maggi products full of sodium i started eating sea weed bread relaxed my colon and i have spinach juice as a snack ) handful spinach,ginger, 1 apple, 1 orange juice, cherry or blueberries, 2 kiwi, its so good and filling… lately im not good with my diet its not a diet its a life style im trying to change it cz i realized my stomach is a sac i either fill it with goods or i fill it with junk! i do junk every now and then am also working out with fitness blender videos you would love them u can mix and match between 10 min standing abs and 20 minutes cardio or 30 minutes toning or or or or etc.. my favorite is this tabata at first i thought its so hard but its really cool and i do it 3 times a week i started drinking more wate and more green tea but i have to say im not loosing weight because i think im not fully committed with not eating late be4 sleep! its the time i crave everything 🙂 anyways good luck the best thing is that you accept your body and you embrace it its out temple
video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vy9WKyN1rig&list=PL_GX809QJUiMYY3QX_mJLj6-9z8bD4vXL&index=8
Wow thanks! That smoothie soubds amazing. I’m definitely going to try it. And its just recently that I’ve been gaining weight so this is new to me to have to worry about what I eat. But its something I have to get used to as I get older.