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I’ve hit the big quarter century a few weeks ago, and it’s given me time to reflect.  Mostly I’ve been thinking of just how, for lack of a better word, free I was with my sexuality last year. And because, I am an open book on this blog, I can admit that, yes, I was a little hoe last year.

Last year was a culmination of ups and downs, lefts and rights, stops and go’s. I was spent. I think it’s safe to say that it was the worst year of my life, but one of the busiest for my favorite lady parts. I was in high demand.

I had a hot young thang on call whenever I needed some TLC, but the tender lovin’ part mostly. It was great when I needed some weekend release, or just wanted some ass, frankly. There was nothing wrong with that. A girl’s gotta get her kicks one way or another. Right?

I was also dating two guys at the same time! BUT I was not sleeping with them at the same time. STD’s and spiders are my biggest fears. Get your kicks ladies, but keep it classy.

Looking back, I cringe at how free I was. I was just doing it to do it at one point. It was good while it lasted, but soon enough I started to feel like a guy. High-fivin’ my friends whenever my booty call asked me to come over. Or if I had a date with His Sexiness, I knew the deal: Bring extra panties.

But this year, all that sexual trolloping came to a screeching halt, and I didn’t even mind. I had enough, to be honest. It’s a lot of work to be a hoe, I don’t know how some girls do it on a year-round basis. You can only be a sexual deviant for so long, until shit hits the fan.  My booty call asked me to dinner–quickly killing the vibe, and I stopped talking to His Sexiness prematurely (excuse the pun).

But, let’s get to the point…is it okay to be a hoe sometimes?


BUT ONLY SOMETIMES!!! Let me explain…

You can’t just show up and be all hoe-y all the time. No one. NO ONE, will ever take you serious. That’s just reality. You’ll never, ever, in any situation get a guy to like you more or take you more serious if you sleep with him too soon.

There is a lot of pressure put on women to be wholesome and pure, but not lacking in the experience department. It’s a tricky double-edged sword a lot of women can’t get around. Quite frankly, I don’t like it. Women like to have sex, too. Big surprise! We like to have lots of sex! We love sex, as a matter of fact! Are we allowed to bask in the glory of our sexuality? No, this would be too much for men to handle, so they put us in these virginal categories –which, for obvious reasons, we always find our way out of. The Free Love movement of the early nineteenth century centered around this very topic, and here we are once again, having the same discussion. We have come so far in education, employment, government, but have only inched forward when it comes to love and sex.

When a woman is too open about her sexuality she’s pegged as a vixen, a whore, and cheap.  Why? She’s only embracing the sexuality that was given to her by the same God whom men claim tells us to cover up, and there is no enjoyment to be had from sex for a woman.

When women go the other route, reserved, she’s seen as rigid, and tough. There is no middle ground. We can’t be seen as sexual beings, and still be taken serious.

There’s a time in every girl’s life, when she’s like, “Oh, fuck it!” and just does what she wants for a little while. You can have that period in your life that makes you look back in shame. Who cares. You know deep down you aren’t a hoe, but did some hoe-like things. That’s totally fine. But don’t let that time in you life define you. It is just a phase. Pull your pants up, wipe the smeared lipstick off your face, and take yourself seriously. Do you really want to sleep with ALL these men, are just the best of them?

What else can you admit?