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Last night my sister and my best good friend (Forest Gump voice) were sitting around not really paying attention to ‘Orange is the New Black’, even though the series has actually proven to be very interesting, we were talking about something that was way more intriguing.

Keeping in line with the show, my sister asked my best good friend if she had ever been arrested. She said that she hadn’t, but said she knew we had been.

Okay let me explain. I am not, nor have I ever been an ex-convict, or a delinquent. I’ve just had really crazy and wild experiences with my friends and sisters.

My sisters, me and our friend at the time got into a crazy fight on the boardwalk in the Jersey Shore.  It was like an all out brawl. Everyone was fighting. Of course the cops came, and the people we were fighting scattered like cockroaches once they heard sirens.  We were running around trying to find one another. Me and my friend (at the time–seriously saying friend when I refer to her leaves a bad taste in my mouth) were the first to get caught by the cops.  We were getting cuffed, and my sisters found us and started to walk towards us.  Since our hands were behind our backs, we couldn’t motion to them to walk the other way, and get the hell outta there. The only thing we could do were really exaggerated facial expressions that obviously did not get the job done.  They were arrested soon after, as well.

So we spent one horrible, unforgettable night in jail. Mugshots were taken, and dignities were lost. We vowed that nothing crazier could ever happen to us. We got arrested.  We were certifiable now. Certifiable bad-asses.

My sister started to tell my best good friend that when we had our court date, our friend at the time kept making us laugh the whole time, in front of the JUDGE! We were supposed to be taking this serious, but we just couldn’t contain ourselves. We didn’t kill anyone, just got into a little trouble on the boardwalk.  We got off with a ‘really expensive ticket’ as our lawyer explained it.

Reliving that moment at that court reminded me how much I cared about this dumb bitch. She used to be my best friend.  We’ve been through shit. Like real shit. Her mom died, we went to jail together, we stayed out all night together, spent nights partying till 8 am, drugs, cutting class. Everything. And in one fell swoop, she turned her back on us like we meant nothing to her.

She dropped us like it was hot.

She was cold. Heartless. Class-less.

How can you drop four friend just like that? Yes, we were all sisters but did we all collectively try to hurt you? No. We tried to reach out to you when you wouldn’t call, text, email, nothing. We tried. She didn’t. She found new friends. New church friends. Not only that, she found a guy. A church guy. So it wouldn’t be fitting to associate with girls like us, right?

We didn’t make you smoke that weed. We didn’t force you to fuck that dude. We didn’t push you to drink until you were numb. We didn’t talk you into staying out all night.

That was on you.

It’s easy to make someone look like the bad guy and pin everything on them.  Wash your hands of any and all guilt and blame.

The fact of the matter was she didn’t stop hanging out with us to be involved with the church more, ’cause that’s a load of crap.

She wanted to get married. Point blank, end of story.

The hoe wanted to change her ways, and tried to erase her shady past by erasing us.

A hoe is a hoe is a hoe. That doesn’t ever change.

She’s a wack ass bitch.

You don’t drop your ‘friends’ for a guy. That’s girl code. Every girl knows that. And if you do, all it means is that you’re an insecure little girl you can’t handle her man being around her 4 attractive friends. It’s not our fault you look like the Wicked Witch of the West.  I wouldn’t be surprised to catch her flying around on her broom stick.

So you got fake teeth? Good, they should go well with your fake personality.

She is a wack ass bitch. Her and her new ‘friends’.

But my sister started to wonder if my best friend would ever do that to us. Honestly, she’s become everyone’s best friend. She has such a good heart, it’s hard not to love her.

I don’t ever believe that she would. It’s hard to find a friend that knows exactly what you need, when you need it. She’s a true friend. Yes we’ve been burned before by wack ass bitches, but she ain’t no wack ass bitch. She’s real. She’s down. She’s there no matter what.

‘M’ only looked out for herself. She didn’t care how we looked, or how she would affect us in the long run.  She was ruthless in her pursuit of a man. Ruthless. She ran people over just to get what she wanted. She got him. She got everything she wanted. The man. The ring. The drama free life she’s always wanted.

‘A’ wasn’t raised by wolves like ‘M’ was.  She has a heart and cares for her friends with a fierce passion. ‘M’ just uses her friends for what they can provide to her. ‘A’ only looks to provide to others. ‘M’ is a taker, ‘A’ is a giver. ‘M’ is a wack ass bitch. ‘A’ is not.

If you have wack ass bitches in your life, the best thing to do is just cut them out.  It’s worth it. It’s great having a lot of friends, but it’s always great having amazing friends. Even if you have one. Let that one friend be the best damn friend you’ve got. As you get older you start to see who’s there for you, and who was just there when it was convenient.

When shit starts to get real you begin to see who your real friends are. It hurts to get burned by a friend, just as bad as breaking up with a guy. You learn from these experiences. You grow. You learn in time that it wasn’t you. You did all you could do as a friend. Some people just don’t want to be your friend.

But the girls that leave their friends for a guy. Hah! That’s a wack ass bitch. Are you serious, girl? Are you that insecure? If that’s the case then you don’t even deserve friends.

Good luck with that!

Fake-Friend

Do you know of any wack ass bitches ?

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