baeff26caf619d05550a80c56c72ef47You never know when the love bug might creep up and bite you, so take your alone time, and your weird single behavior and hold it near and dear to your heart.

Lots of us who are single are yearning to be in a relationship. If you’re like me and haven’t been in a relationship for so long that the thought of being in one again almost seems foreign, you don’t necessarily lose hope, you just get comfortable in being alone.

Relationships? Oh, yeah I remember those things….those are the things that don’t let you do anything and complain all the time? Uhhhh…yeah…no thank you.

Being single doesn’t have to be such a drag. It’s not a death sentence, it’s time you give yourself (or sometimes it’s given TO you) to really get to know who you are. I feel every person, man or woman, needs to spends at least 6 months getting to know themselves in order to have functional relationships in the future.

I work with a lot of women who are either married with kids, or ….nevermind they’re all married with kids.  And I kind of feel shitty when I tell them all my “big plans” for the weekend. All the big plans they won’t get to have. I almost feel like I have to do it big every weekend, to make up for my fallen sisters who won’t get to partake in the same debauchery. I take it up an extra notch when I see my co-worker with dark circle stricken eyes, hair’s a mess (the hairbrush is still in there somewhere…she tried, but gave up half way) her outfit is just horrendous. I mean, really, even when I only have 2 hours of sleep I still know that white spandex pants are huge NO-NO regardless of where you’re going. I will take an extra shot of Honey Jack for you sista…’cause goddamn.

Even the women who have boyfriends, who rush to my desk and ask me for a cigarette because their boyfriend “pissed them off” today. Really? It’s 8am. I’ve literally only been awake for an hour, what the hell could he have done??? Adding another shot of honey jack….

Yes you are single, but look at all the crap you DON’T have to deal with: crying babies, husbands who act like babies, boyfriends who are clueless, stressing about everyone and everything.

You get to:

  1. Take up ALL of the bed. There is no one pulling the covers onto their side, or throwing their leg over yours. Shmushing your face. Bad breath. Snoring. Unwanted invitations for sex.
  2. Dance to loud music in your apartment all by yourself. 
  3. Go shopping for HOURS. Ever feel guilty that you have been browsing in the same sale section for 2 hours and can feel the heat of your mate’s eye’s on the back of your neck? ….yeah, me neither. ::continues to dig:::
  4. Spend your money on the most ridiculous things. I bought a needle roller just last month. I don’t even know what a needle roller is!
  5. TRAVEL. You can literally pick up and go anywhere you want. You don’t have to arrange for a sitter, or worry your pretty little head that your children are okay. Cuz you ain’t got none! Boom! 1 point for the single gals! 
  6. Move. You can just move to another town if it suits you. You don’t have to ask someone else if they think it’s a good idea, or if they would like it. You think it’s a good idea and you like it….that’s good enough.
  7. Party into the wee hours of the night. Staying out late without a care in the world is a feeling that I can not really appreciate until I have someone waiting for me at home, who is worried if I’m dead in a ditch somewhere. Until I have someone calling 20 times in a night, I really won’t appreciate this. This is something I shouldn’t take for granted, but definitely do.
  8. Making out with complete strangers. I made out with an adorable London bloke last month, and still keep in touch with him! It was 4am, we were drunk…he was cute…what??
  9. Wearing skanky outfits. Because if you’re a mom, you definitely need to cover that shit up. It’s not cute.
  10. Buy really expensive crap. My friend told me she was losing sleep over these Tom Ford sunglasses she really wanted. She was losing sleep over this, people! I told her to just buy the damn things, it’s not like she needs the money for diapers, or a college fund.
  11. Being alone. Sometimes just being by yourself is just what the doctor ordered. You may not be depressed or even sad, but sometimes you just need to retreat into yourself to recharge your batteries so you can get back to being your fabulous self.

So enjoy the time you have now. These moments that we all take for granted will be nothing but a fond memory one day. Don’t look back in regret.

Live each day like it’s your last ‘single’ day on Earth.



Shoes Over Booze