I had hung out with the Boy Who Bartended a couple more times after our first kiss which proved interesting.

He is 5 years my junior and I was okay with that until he started to show his age. There were some things I could look past, and others just surprised the hell outta me and made think he was deliberately trying to turn me off.

  1. He played with his food. Picture it: I, a 28-year-old woman, am sitting across a guy with a french fry mustache. I wanted to die.
  2. Giggling when we kissed. “the fuck is so funny?” Seriously. What the fuck was so funny? Needless to say, he constantly shat on the mood.
  3. He doesn’t drink. This wasn’t a turn off, but I just wanted to point this out. 🙂

And, last but certainly not least…..

4. He doesn’t like to go down on girls.

“Sweet. Nice knowing you, bud.”

Did you read that? He doesn’t like to go down on girls. Guys, a little tip: unless your dick game is GOLD….nah, PLATINUM,  amazing, mindblowing, STRONG, then guess what, you’re going downtown.

And his was not, so I didn’t see the point in continuing anything with him. I know this sounds like I just used the poor kid, and tossed him away like yesterday’s newspaper, but may I suggest re-reading the list above (notably #4).

After that night, I fell back. Communication between us was sparse and I didn’t really mind since I wasn’t planning on pursuing anything with him anyway.

It had been 2 weeks since we hooked up and in that time I had met other guys, and mentally moved on. I hadn’t really thought of it, and judging by the lack of communication on his end, it felt like he was over it, too. That was a relief because I was spared from having that awkward “this isn’t going to work” conversation.

But do guys ever do what you want them to? Nope.

He texted me randomly one day basically spilling his guts.


He said he couldn’t tell whether I was into him or not, and he didn’t want to be that annoying guy that kept texting me when I didn’t want him to (too late for that).  He said he enjoyed spending time with me and liked going on dates “I forced him to go on”. LOL OMG haha so cute….  😐

…and that I was beautiful.

…and that I had nice eyes (he forgot to throw that in there).


honestly, what the hell?

So, let me get this straight…when you like a guy he either ghosts you, is an asshole, never texts you back, never comes around, hard to pin down, does not want a relationship with you or anything to do with you? But when you’re not into a guy he pursues you like it’s his job and wants to make you his one and only, marry you and have a bunch of kids? Cool, got it. This dating thing is really fun.

The only response I could come back with was what every girl uses on guys to get them to back off. The ‘C’ word: Commitment.

I told him I was looking for something more serious and if he wasn’t looking for that then we should just be friends.

“I’m def not opposed to something serious.” -Boy

Well, that backfired.

I gotta come clean with this dude because he thinks there is a chance and that’s totally on me. I hate letting people down, but I truly don’t want a relationship with this guy (see #4, honestly see #1-#4). Yes, I would like something serious, but I also want something mature and not someone I’d have to show how to act when they dine out.

Stayed tuned, should be an interesting couple of days.



Shoes Over Booze