In the recent past, I resolved to finally be in a relationship. To find someone who excites me, challenges me to be better, who lifts me up and loves every weird and lovely thing about me.
So with that I signed up for a dating site and that’s been going well so far. I’ve been talking to a few guys, and even have a few dates lined up. I’m actually kind of excited to get back in the dating game.
In the same vein, I noticed a guy I used to talk to briefly. He popped up on my news feed. He was cute, and of the same middle eastern background. I never really found middle eastern men attractive, but I thought “hey, why not?” I figured I’d reach out to him again after falling off the face of the earth due to my busy schedule, and giving it another go.
I sent him a message on Facebook apologizing for disappearing inexplicably, and asked for another shot. He obliged.
I found out only 24 hours later that I had made the right decision in ghosting him.
First, I’m not too keen on the one word answers followed by a string of questions directed at me. You can’t expect me to open up if you’re not willing to do the same, bud. Strike 1.
Second, after some of his questions went unanswered, because I was at work, you know, working–he accused me of disappearing once again. I then had to reassure him that I hadn’t gone anywhere and was simply in a meeting. I also had to explain to him that texting during a meeting was frowned upon. Strike 2.
One thing that getting older has taught me that texts don’t need to be answered right away. Sometimes people are too busy living their lives to answer a text and that’s fine, because they’ll get to it when they can. If you can’t understand that, you’re not adulting correctly. #adult
I figured he had his own thing going on. He was a full time nursing student, and worked in the evening. I didn’t realize he was holding his breath waiting on my texts. That’s just way too much pressure to put on one person. Your boredom is not my problem.
That made me super uncomfortable. Dude, don’t you have a life? I’m out here working, and I have things to do after work, too. I have a life outside of work as well. You can’t tell me you have nothing better to do than troll Facebook for girls and bombard them with personal questions at 2 in the afternoon. Can I get through this spreadsheet without having to think how being the 3rd born has grossly affected certain personality traits?
I couldn’t keep up with the constant texts/facebook messaging. What I was doing, and why I didn’t answer quickly enough was always in question.
I had enough, and just blocked the psycho.
At that point I realized I should never have reach out. More importantly I shouldn’t have regretted ghosting on him either. I’ve always been a big believer that everything happens for a reason.
I guess reaching out to him was my way of clearing out that bad karma I was holding on to. I also think I was trying to prove that some of my decisions were based on old beliefs, but I was wrong. These are the same core beliefs that have kept me from getting hurt repeatedly from guys who really don’t care about me.
I need to listen to my gut more, and trust in that inner voice. I need to trust in myself more and trust that I actually know what I’m doing. (For once).
Never look back. People and situations that are in the past are there for a reason. If they needed to be in your present, they would be. Count on that. I believe the universe puts people on your path the same way she takes them out. If they’ve served their purpose, then their time in your life is done and it’s time to move on. Holding onto people, and things that no longer serve us are what keeps us from growing and moving forward.
I learned my lesson, and Mr. Psycho had been blocked. Crisis averted.
Til next time Boozers.
Shoes Over Booze